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Buongiorno! il nuovo blog è completo (ma quanto sono brava :-P), spero vi piaccia, e spero soprattutto che dopo una prima visita tornerete a "leggermi". Forse conoscete già il mio sito, Quattrostracci. Stavolta gli stracci vengono da Cohen, dalla misteriosa Suzanne. Spero, nel mio piccolo, di potervi indicare anch'io "where to look, among the garbage and the flowers". Se poi non vi annoierete, sarà già un successo :-)
Kisses
la webmaestra
p.s. il sito è ottimizzato per una visualizzazione a 1024x768.
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| Doctors |
| 06.02.10 - 8:09 pm |
Sono a: my new appartment |
Categoria:
instant karma
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I've met my new dermatologist on Thursday. He kind of looks like Melman the Giraffe in Madagascar.
My readers will know that I suffer from atopic dermatitis. Which is 1) a chronic illness, 2) a children's illness (I'm just lucky to have it keeping me company during the best years of my life), 3) a upper-class problem (because having some chronic illness is expensive, and because some theories say you get it from living with clean freaks when you are a baby), 4) a mystery (most of the doctors don't really know what to do with you, I'm lucky it's not life-threatening).
My readers will also know that I was living a normal life until 2003, when my allergy exploded like a clockwork bomb. I woke up in the middle of the night and the itching on my skin had become unbearable. I started playing computer games to avoid scratching, and it took me a few years to recover. Over those years I met all kinds of doctors.
The cautious ones
I went to the emergency room, they gave me a shot of cortisone in my muscles. Of course after this shot I was quite fine. What's the point in visiting me after you killed the symptom?
The smartass
This lady looked at me, suggested I put chamomile on my skin. Too bad I'm allergic, so thanks for nothing. After prescribing me some tests, she told me that people with atopic dermatitis are smarter than average. Oh, what a consolation.
My House MD
I was quite desperate, so I went and looked for my House MD. He was the pediatrician who saved me when I was a toddler. He is smart. And he has a limp, just like House. He gave me some medicines and sent me to next doctor, "the savior".
The savior
She was like some kind of maternal figure. She would say "poor you" very often. But despite that, she had some kind of scientific approach to the problem, and she really saved me when I was desperate. I did all the tests with her, she put me on a diet (potatoes, vegetables and beef for months, and no coffee). Cortisone on my skin once a week. Then I was supposed to start eating more stuff, one type of food per week. And then the vaccination against dustmites allergy. It all went well, I'm still thankful to her.
Melman the Giraffe
After a few years, my allergy starts bothering me again. I guess this time I've taken action more in advance, and I found Melman. I found quite surprising how he had a different approach from the other doctors. First, he didn't put me on a diet. Which makes sense, if I'm potentially allergic to almost everything. Second, he didn't stigmatize the use of cortisone lotions. He said that some of them (like the one I use) are light and efficient enough to be used often. So, finally my skin is getting some relief. But, most important, he was not saying, like my Italian doctors, "well, you know, it's complicated, we have to see, we have to try different things, see what works". He sounded confident, like someone who knows what he's talking about, and this is something new to me.
I'm not sure yet if this other approach will work. I must say I'm curious. But so far I prefer someone who gives me the impression he knows what he's dealing with. |
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| Fitter, happier |
| 20.01.10 - 4:39 pm |
Sono a: Stuttgart Schmuttgart |
Categoria:
CQS
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Fitter, happier
more productive
comfortable
not drinking too much
...
Eating well, no more microwave dinners and saturated fats
...
Sleeping well, no bad dreams, no paranoia
...
Will frequently check credit at moral bank, hole in wall
Favors for favors, fond but not in love
...
Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
nothing so childish
At a better pace
slower and more calculated
no chance of escape
Now self-employed
concerned, but powerless
An empowered and informed member of society
pragmatism not idealism
Will not cry in public
less chance of illness
...
still cries at a good film
still kisses with saliva
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat tied to a stick
That's driven into frozen winter shit
the ability to laugh at weakness
Calm
fitter, healthier
and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics
(Radiohead) |
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| They'll come and ask you about our love affair |
| 11.01.10 - 11:09 am |
Sono a: Stuttgart Schmuttgart |
Categoria:
CQS
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Verranno a chiederti del nostro amore (De André/Piovani/Bentivoglio)
Quando in anticipo sul tuo stupore
verranno a crederti del nostro amore
a quella gente consumata nel farsi dar retta
un amore così lungo, tu non darglielo in fretta
non spalancare le labbra ad un ingorgo di parole
le tue labbra così frenate nelle fantasie dell'amore
dopo l'amore così sicure a rifugiarsi nei "sempre", nell'ipocrisia dei "mai"
non sono riuscito a cambiarti, non mi hai cambiato lo sai
When just before you can even be surprised
they'll come and ask you about our love affair
to those who are obsessed by the other's attention
such a long love story, just don't give it all away
Don't open your lips wide for a words' traffic jam
they used to be so shy when we were making love
and afterwards, so bold to seek shelter in an "always", in a hypocritical "never"
I've never managed to change you, you haven't changed me, you know
E dietro ai microfoni porteranno uno specchio
per farti più bella e pesarmi già vecchio
tu regalagli un trucco che con me non portavi
e loro si stupiranno che tu non mi bastavi,
digli pure che il potere io l'ho scagliato dalle mani
dove l'amore non era adulto e ti lasciavo graffi sui seni
e ritornare dopo l'amore alle carenze dell'amore, era facile ormai
non sei riuscita a cambiarmi, non ti ho cambiata lo sai
And they'll bring a mirror for their interview
so you'll look even prettier, and I'll just look more old
then give them a trick you've never played with me
and they'll be surprised, you were not enough to me
Tell them my hands have thrown their weight around
and if love wasn't ripe, I used to scratch your breasts
and then it was just easy to come back to sweetness, it was just so damn easy
You've never managed to change me, I haven't changed you, you know
Digli che i tuoi occhi me li han ridati sempre
come fiori regalati a maggio e restituiti in novembre
i tuoi occhi come vuoti a rendere per chi ti ha dato lavoro
i tuoi occhi assunti da tre anni, i tuoi occhi per loro,
ormai buoni per setacciare spiagge con la scusa del corallo
o per buttarsi in un cinema con una pietra al collo
e troppo stanchi per non vergognarsi di confessarlo nei miei, proprio identici ai tuoi
sono riusciti a cambiarci, ci son riusciti lo sai
Tell them I've always had your eyes back
just like flowers of spring given back in November
your eyes were on bail for those who employed you
eyes employed for three years, your eyes just for them
your eyes were just good to pick coral on the beach
or to jump into a cinema, with a stone around your neck
and too tired not to be ashamed to come clean into my eyes, just too similar to yours
They have managed to change us, they have managed, you know
Ma senza che gli altri non ne sappiano niente
dirmi senza un programma dimmi come ci si sente
continuerai ad ammirarti tanto da volerti portare al dito
farai l'amore per amore, o per avercelo garantito?
Andrai a vivere con Alice che si fa il whisky distillando fiori
o con un Casanova che ti promette di presentarti ai genitori
o resterai più semplicemente dove un attimo vale un altro senza chiederti come mai?
Continuerai a farti scegliere, o finalmente sceglierai?
But don't tell anybody, and please tell me
tell me how it feels to live without plans
will you still be the apple of your own eyes
will you make love for love's sake, or just to have it guaranteed?
will you move at Alice's who distils whiskey from the flowers
or at some dandy's who won't let you meet his parents?
or will you just stay where all instants are equal, without wondering how come?
will you let the others choose you, or will you finally make a choice?
Traduzione mia - My translation |
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| Top 10 2009 best queries! |
| 31.12.09 - 7:59 pm |
Sono a: Palermo, Africa |
Categoria:
generale
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As every year, here's the top 10 queries that people asked to a search engine and followed to reach my blog. It's my usual way of wishing all my readers a happy new year!
10) i papabili dopo ratzinger
wannabe after-ratzinger popes
I don't want to disappoint you, but you'll have to wait some more time..
9) troppo vecchia per prendere patente
too old to get a driving licence. Darling, I do hope you are not, because I might be too.
8) i dumped my boyfriend because i went to do an erasmus
that's a common problem sweetie. At least you did it BEFORE going away
7) nude rotkäppchen
Yes, I've been Rotkäppchen for Carnival, but I was not naked
6) tetris dell' europa meridionale
Southern Europe Tetris
I wonder if it was someone writing a thesis on anthropological differences in computer games across Europe
5) acqua santa fiumicino satana
holy water fiumicino airport satan
this is obscure. Maybe they're trying to stop flights delays by calling an exhorcist?
4) maleficio coi limoni
witchcraft with lemons
...maybe they're trying lemons too
3) fotografi abusivi durante discussione tesi di laurea
non-authorized photographers while you're defending your thesis
I hate them, and it looks like I'm not the only one
2) i gatti possono assumere l'imodium???
can gat take imodium? (a drug anti-diarrhea)
this just lets us figure a crazy cat spreading poo everywhere
and to my great surprise this is always in the list of the queries:
1) tesina cellulite
thesis on cellulite
if people keep finding my blog with this query every year, maybe I should take action... |
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| Natale è... |
| 25.12.09 - 2:14 am |
Sono a: Palermo, Africa |
Categoria:
generale
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... mia sorella che agita i regali sotto l'albero per capire cosa sono (ora sostituita da suo figlio che li aprirebbe tutti come se fossero suoi)
... passare le serate a guardare film con mio padre, che puntualmente si addormenta sul divano
... svegliarsi il 24 e trovare mia mamma che cucina da ore
... fare i pacchi regalo per tutti, ci manca poco che mi facciano impacchettare anche quelli per me
... dover apparecchiare ore prima, magari ascoltando la canzone di Erode di Jesus Christ Superstar
... mettere a tavola come porta tovaglioli i due boccali di birra del Royal Halloway College
... i bicchieri a parallelepipedo, oggi scomparsi, sostituiti perché ai nasi di famiglia creavano notevole impiccio (anche al mio)
... il superalcolico estero portato da mio padre da qualche viaggio esotico (il rum cubano, la tequila messicana, la vodka russa), proposto come aperitivo
... dare direttive ai parenti che con più di due posate a testa si confondono, e se le scambiano
... mio cugino che si legge i miei Topolino sul divano
... telefonare alla zia in liguria
... lasciare puntualmente la macedonia, perché sono piena
... fare il Feuerzangenbowle
... ricevere una tonnellata di libri
... tirare tardi leggendo l'ultimo Ammaniti / Benni / Hornby
... guardare "Parenti Serpenti"
... mandare gli auguri agli amici sparsi per il mondo, e vedere quelli che stanno a Palermo con ritmi serrati che neanche un medico della mutua
... ore di giochi da tavolo, sostituiti di recente dalle costruzioni lego con il nipotino
... campare degli avanzi del cenone per giorni (e sono ancora più buoni dopo)
... avere un clima che neanche in Palestina a primavera, mentre nel resto del mondo nevica |
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| Top 5 titles for apartment offers |
| 17.12.09 - 12:11 pm |
Sono a: Stuttgart Schmuttgart |
Categoria:
Stuttgart Schmuttgart
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As some of you already know, the Quest for the Holy Apartment is finally over. I'll tell you more about it when I move in (in 2 months), but I wanted to celebrate by sharing with you the top 5 titles I came across while looking for an affordable place to live:
5) Klein, aber mein
"small but fine" - usually referred to a tiny hole in a terrible location, and of course overpriced
4) Mein kleines Reich
"my little kingdom" - similar to 5, but with a more subtle implication: yes, you are single, but you can still soothe your loneliness by paying for this apartment and calling it your kingdom
3) Tschüss "Hotel Mama"
"goodbye 'hotel mummy'" - it is understood that the apartment is suitable for students who finally want to feel independent and live on their own. But the landlord will only accept spoiled kids with rich parents paying for their rent and "independence"
2) ein modernes Ambiente für Ihre Einrichtungs-Phantasien
"a modern environment for your renovating/design dreams" - the place is fairly new, but it needs renovating. But hey, that's just something you've always dreamt of, isn't it?
1) ideal für Singles oder das stylische Paar!
"ideal for singles or for the stylish couple" - again, small apartment. Which is good only if you are a single person OR if you are a couple that's stylish enough to live in a small place, minimal style. It goes without saying that stylish couples don't cook (they live for style), don't poo, don't have kids/pets, don't wash their clothes, so they don't really need much, just an open space where to sip their cocktails, or their herbal teas, and ooze style.
I wonder if you are actually required to pass a competition, and to prove how stylish you are. And I can just hear my boyfriend saying: "Honey, we wrote a book on being stylish!" |
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| A towel has immense psychological value |
| 11.12.09 - 10:47 am |
Sono a: Stuttgart Schmuttgart |
Categoria:
Stuttgart Schmuttgart
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More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."
(The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Maybe that's the deal with landlords, when they ask you about your income, your deposit money, your insurance, your job, your credit card & bank account (and you need the apartment for your job, and the job for the apartment). You show up with nice clothes, exhibit your richness. The best tenant is the one who doesn't actually need the place, because he can afford more expensive ones.
They just need to see the towel, so they will rent you the space suit. |
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| Non pensarci, è tutto ok |
| 10.12.09 - 10:00 am |
Sono a: Stuttgart Schmuttgart |
Categoria:
i pesci di Babele
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Just an eye-opener, I was feeling like translating :)
Non pensarci, è tutto ok
("Don't think twice, it's alright", Bob Dylan)
Non stare a chiederti perché, bimba
non importa più
e non serve a niente chiedersi perché, bimba
se non ci sei già arrivata
Quando il gallo canterà, domani all'alba
guarda fuori dalla finestra, e non ci sarò più
la causa del mio vagabondare sei tu
ma non pensarci, è tutto ok
E non stare ad accendere le tue luci, bimba
che io non ho visto mai
non servono più a niente le tue luci, bimba
qua è scuro, non le vedo
Magari ci fosse qualcosa da dire o da fare
per farmi cambiare idea, e restare
Ma a parlare non siamo mai stati bravi
ma non pensarci, è tutto ok
E non stare a chiamare il mio nome, bimba
come non hai fatto mai
e non serve chiamare il mio nome, bimba
ormai non ti sento più
Sono sulla mia strada, tra pensieri e domande
Ho amato una donna, una bambina, mi hanno detto
Aveva il mio cuore, voleva la mia anima
ma non pensarci, è tutto ok
Arrivederci, bimba mia
dove vado, non lo so
"a presto" sarebbe troppo carino
quindi ti dico solo "addio"
Non voglio dire che mi hai trattato male,
potevi fare di meglio, ma lascia stare
Hai solo sprecato il mio tempo prezioso
ma non pensarci, è tutto ok |
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| House hunting |
| 08.12.09 - 5:33 pm |
Sono a: IMS, Stuttgart |
Categoria:
Stuttgart Schmuttgart
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I have been reading a lot of ads recently.
That's my usual routine of questions:
1) does it have a Provision (="agency commission")? if no, go to next question
2) can I move there between the 1st of February and the 1st of March? if no, go to next question
3) is the rent > 650 Warm (="all inclusive")? if no, go to next question
4) does it have Teppichboden (="carpeted floor")? if no, go to next question
5) is it "Renovierungsbedürftig" (="in need of renovation")? if no, go to next question
6) is it in the middle of nowhere? if no, go to next question
7) do I have to buy expensive forniture from last tenant? if no, go to next question
8) is there a washing mashine or at least a place where to plug one? if yes, go to next question
9) does it explicitly say "no singles, no couples, no students, no foreigners, no phd students, just commuters"? if no, go for it! call / write them!
and then, I am asked all sorts of stuff.
10) are you married? if no, go to next question
11) are you unemployed? if no, go to next question
12) have you ever bankrupted? if no, go to next question
(optional questions possible: do you have kids? do you have pets? have you been kicked out of an apartment before? why have you left your last apartment? where have you lived in the past 5 years? how much do you earn? do you have to pay alimony to someone? do you receive an unemployment benefit? "homeland security" style)
(I guess one day they'll ask me are you a terrorist? are you part of a criminal organization? are you a drug dealer? have you ever been a member of the comunist party?)
and then:
13) is the rent less than one third of the income of you and other possible tenants? if no... you can just screw yourself!
back to step 1! |
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| Tortino al microonde dello studente pigro |
| 08.12.09 - 2:14 pm |
Sono a: IMS, Stuttgart |
Categoria:
4 stracci in padella
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(grazie a un giro di ricette via email, riprende il ciclo "4 stracci in padella", per tutti gli affezionati lettori del mio blog)
Preparazione: pochi minuti, il tempo di fare caricare il buffer del tuo telefilm
Difficoltà: una stelletta pigra pigra
Ingredienti: una patata, una zucchina, una carota, avanzi di formaggio, poco burro, qualcosa di "carnoso" (pezzetti di salsiccia o di pancetta)
Utensili: una ciotolina di ceramica adatta per il microonde, microonde
Imburra la ciotolina. Pela la patata e la carota. Taglia la patata a dischi sottili e piatti,e ricoprici fondo e pareti della ciotolina, tenendo un paio di dischetti da parte.
Taglia la zucchina, la carota e la salsiccia a cubetti piccoli. Mettili nella ciotolina mischiati a un po' di sale, pepe e i pezzettini di formaggio, aggiungi un poco d'acqua, copri con gli ultimi dischetti di patata. Copri con pezzetti di burro e/o formaggio e se ti senti creativo del pangrattato per farlo gratinare.
Metti in microonde per 5 minuti ad alta potenza, e controlla se le patate sono cotte (se ci passa uno stuzzicadenti). Se no continua per qualche minuto.
Consuma la tua cena da studente pigro davanti al tuo telefilm preferito. |
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"She is wearing rags and feathers
